When a tornado meets a volcano

"i'm just sorry cuz i'm not... too normal or too myself right now. i used to be determined brave strong.. a fighter.
e o perioada tare lunga in care am fost doborata de prea multe ori. but... it always happens for a reason."



Toti copii sunt inocenti. And then they grow up si pe masura ce invata [as in traiesc] mai mult, pe atat sufera mai mult, pe atat se schimba mai mult, si nu neaparat in bine. Ii admir pe oamenii ce isi pot pastra bunatatatea intacta.

Am fost si eu un copil. For a long long time. Si imi amintesc ca in inocenta si in ignoranta mea, i was happy.

Pe cand acum.. I'm my biggest enemy. I know life is scary. And people are scary. But i'm okay and used to it. But when it comes to myself.. That scares me.

I used to know how to control myself, imi impuneam foarte multe lucruri, pana si ce sa simt. And then i lost control.

I dunno if i know myself anymore. And it's not necessarily a bad thing.

I think i'm scared of myself.

I think i'm masochistic.




Sometimes you may feel that you've lived for nothing. that you've done shit with your years. that you do not own them.

sometimes you feel that you do not know who you are.

but do not regret anything cuz everything you have done is who you are.

i have no idea if i have done more good deeds than bad ones. maybe that's why people invented the judgement day. if were to die right now, i have no idea what i'd say up there.

i know people are both good and evil, kind and selfish, loving and vengeful.

i got used to having a bad opinion about myself. too bad, actually. it made me feel unspecial.

ego is a tricky thing. it was my first and one of my best armours. but in time, i forgot how to use it well and it turned against me. just as the other armours, which got worse and worse and hit me more and more. cuz i'm my biggest enemy. yeah it's between me and Tyler. my bad imaginary friend. my devil. Max is the very good, very cool imaginary friend and i love that guy.


if today was judgement day... mi-ar parea rau. nu am facut ce imi doream pe pamantul asta, nu tot. i'd look back, i'd want back. i'd leave treasures in here.

i've done too little in my first 20 years.

am uitat [cum] sa fac oamenii sa zambeasca. am fost egoista rea paranoica posesiva egoista egoista egoista. si razbunatoare. and i've hurt lots of people. i still dunno exactly how to forgive but ive tried to.

am iubit. asta e primul lucru bun de spus. am iubit in multe feluri si incredibil de mult.

am incercat sa le arat altora caile pe care le consideram corecte. desi asta poate intra in categoria "bossing people around cuz i'm an egocentric selfish bitch". dunno.

uneori am ajutat fara a avea vreun interes.

de multe ori am uitat sa imi arat recunostiinta. am lasat multi prieteni in spate.

after all, am invatat multe. ca totul e trecator. ca se poate mai rau. ca exista dreptate undeva. am invatat sa o accept de multe ori. ca tot raul spre bine. ca everything in this world happens for a reason. ca hope can get you through anything but it can also kill you.

ca people make mistakes. ca you shouldn't be judgemental cuz you can do it too, in the same way or worse.

ca e greu ca o persoana sa te inteleaga. ca iti trebuie multi ani si incredibil de multa munca pt ca cineva sa ajunga sa te inteleaga. ca asa ceva e rar, pt ca, as i said, totul e trecator. prietenii vin si pleaca, oamenii se schimba. niciodata total, dar pe alocuri, suficient. ca you're very lucky when you have that special someone and you should cherish him.

ca everyone needs faith. or a muse. ca i still have one. i'm still waiting. i'm still loving something, wow. i still have a soul.

ca ignorance is bliss. ca being in love is bliss. oricat ai suferi, tot esti mai fericit in durerea ta imensa decat daca nu ai mai avea pe nimeni la care sa te gandesti. oh, trust me. ca having smth to die for makes it beautiful to live.

ca greutatile in viata vin si trec. si se rezolva. ca viata e o insiruire de evenimente care ne fac sa nu ne dam seama cat de lungi si de boring sunt de fapt anii.

ca omul e o fiinta sociala. si o bestie. si un martir.

ca orice ai face, se va intoarce inapoi la tine.

i lost innocence and i gained knowledge. i lost happiness but i gained wisdom. i lost my dreams and i gained pain. pain can open your eyes. i lost part of my kindness and i gained experience. i lost the ability to trust people and i gained friends. i lost love and i gained eternal loyalty. I lost pieces of my sanity on the way but i gained the biggest treasure ever.